am i look like a big girl? i mean strong one. im not sure abt that, but the one thing what im sure is that i didnt have any courage or braveness abt confront this feelings. im always beware of my step and that is why i never step even a single afront of him. i never show this love clearly to him. that make he didnt know and im hurt alone. i do see that me myself can change the alone inside myself within myself but then without the bravier, the alone things never changed. thats what i cl im weak. not strong, so you might think how this pity-fool girl assumes that she really have a big heart of loving shana, and the sayings from my heart that i really have such love. i can assume that by myself bcs i do know how much i love him. didnt brave, didnt strong, and weak instead is a symbol of myself towards affection. doesnt related to my-very-loveness towards him.
as yknow, pity girl, idiot girl, weak girl, courage and braveless girl like me also know what is mean by love and loving the one. ah be sad cs youre reading the one liddat stupid-confession right now.
Enough and hi. very apoligize if youre feeling Eyuw with the things at the top. however, as a human being and especially a girl, really care abt her love's one. noted this. malayin, actually aku nak cerita psl first jumpa diatu. k benda tu dah pernah cerita kan, tp aku tak detail abt that. cerita masatu most of all abt yg mumula cancel then gi jugak unplanning with syafiq. disebabkan terbukak blog ade sorgni td, she stories abt her first meet with her loves one which at the boy's house. so it is same like me. i mean aku jumpa shana dkt rumah dia kan~
ok so macamni. masa dah sampai dkt rumah dia, timetu dah nampak dah rumah dia as he told me characteristics abt his house, colour, windows colour, presence of a tree and etc, so sebelum masuk dkt lorong tu dah cl dia ckp YOU I DAH SAMPAI. masa tu dah masuk lorong. then syafiq dah brake kereta. aku dah mcm god god god. heart beating so fast and ini bukan penipuan. first meet kot, dkt rumah dia pulaktu dah mcm gabra katak timetu. rasa nak balik pun ada. then masatu aku tak turun lgni, syafiq kata apahal tak turun. then aku ckp igt nak tunggu dia keluar. timetu pulak pintu rumah dia terbukak. so aku igt he somehow is inside dah get ready tepi pintu ke ape lah kan. tp lamanya lahai last last im decided turun jelah. timetu aku usha dah pelik je terjenguk jenguk tetiba adik dia dari blakg tanya aku sapa. then aku tak jwp, segan punya psl woi, muka malu kambing timetu.
perempuan nilah yg buat muka kambing tahan malu tu hahahaha.
aku senyum jelah. adik dia tanya aku, oh nak cari Aaron ke kak aku timetu blur skjp. psl tak biasanya aku panggil dia aaron, sunday tu ade jugaklah. then aku dgn confident ckp bukan dik, apeni shahrul ade? naim, naim aku ckp naim psl aku igt family dia panggil dia naim cs masa texting or otp dgn mama dia, she always say naim apeni ha apetu ha macamtu. so then adik dia pun lah betul lah. aaron lah kak, sunday sunday aku pun muka mintak lobang lah do, nak tutup muka malu sial ni -.- then adik dia kata skjp dia panggil kan, aaron tgh bersiap. masatu hati aku dah pe pe pe gimme some heart pump please! nak tenangkan hati yg gemuruh ini.
diani lah yg sgt sgt syg dkt shana tu sampai skrg. aku tau, muka takboleh buat seseorg cintakan perempuan tu sepenuh hati. ape nak buat, rupa pun ade takde je aku ni. im not so beautiful. i mean, as a low etnic might be yes im cute and so whatever so on. minding you, Low one ok.
aku bebetul diri dpn pintu, then aku dgr adik dia jerit abg abg abg, ade akak dtg. aku dgr suara aaron dia ckp SAPAAAAAAA. start balik heartbeat aku ni. pastu aku dah nampak byg org jln guna tongkat. (igt lagi kan timetu dia baru habis operation) pastu aku nyorok tepi pintu and pusing blakg. then adik dia panggil aku, dia ckplah akak akak camtu aku igt aaron takda sbb tgh naik atas prepare himself ke ape, sekali aku pusing adik dia senyum terus lari then aaron timetu pandang lantai, fokus lah tgh jln kan pakai tongkat pulaktu. then aku terkejut gila babeng dia pun sama pastu dia ckp Eh, fara. aku pun aa, Hi. dia pun nyorok tepi pintu. aku teragak agak sikit nak masuk. then masuk aku terus ltk mcd yg dia kirim tu atas meja. then berjalan sana sini then duduk. k semua ni aku buat sambil tutup muka. then dia kata Duduklah.. aku pun I duduk tau. pastu dia, ckp mcm keretapi. so nilah i, aaron sunday. ni lah rumah i. kalau i penat nak tidou ptg ptg i duduk sini. kalau otp dgn you i duduk dpn tv tu takpun kat sini, ha kat sana dapur. dpn tu you nampak tak pintu warna hijau tu itulah bilik i, i tidou kat situlah hahari. aku pun ok ok stop stop. i tak fhm lgsg. dua dua gelak haha. dia timetu still cover his face dgn bantal. aku saja lah pndg dia lalama kan buat muka cute oing oing :D pastu dia You jgn camtu, i tak thn tgk muka budak comel dpn mata. atototo awak ni cuwoh ite ckp awak cuwit ke shana :P then finally he uncovered his face. pastu kitorg ckp mcm biasa. sbnrnya ade hasrat nak solat sekali lg pun dah azan asar timetu. tp tak boleh cs syafiq takut jln jam. 45 minutes je kot jumpa dia and sumpahly rasa tak puas.
masa nak balik, aku hulur tgn nak slm lah kan. then dia gi salam buat yg mcm nak cium tgn tu, aku pun oi oi, hahah slm biasa jelah. pastu dia Eh kk hehe sorry. then dah keluar dpn pintu, dpntu ade adik adik dia main bola. then aku ckp k bye, pastu dia js senyum and buat signal iloveyou with sighing voice lah. then aku saja lah ape ape ape pastu gi dktkan telinga then he says i really love you fara then aku dah heeeeee kbye ilyt. adik adik dia mcm ckp aku girlf dialah whatsoever then aku ckp bye adik adik. pastu adik dia senyum cambangang aku dah sudah mcm badak tahan malu. so macamtu lah~ gambar taknak upload sbb dah ade kan kat post dulutu.
ok then igt tak yg aku cerita keluar dgn dia and whatsoever tu. kan aku cerita dlm tu he wore my specs. aku tak tipu lahk, ade bukti~
ok itu shana. and yg dipakai tu spec aku. ini serious gua tak tipu bro. gua tak main sembang, ade bukti gua kasi tunjuk ok.
skrg nampak k? oing oing, timeni kat pd. picnic kan tu mlm mlm kemain byk aku makan tau :D tu yg kfine. gemuk sikit masatu. skrg kurus! *yg penting.
sbnrnya aku sendiri pun rasa gambar aku ni asyik edit je. nant mulut org nak ckp fake lahtu kan. ok tu yg terasa nak letak gambar 110% original tanpa edit ok. setting camera pun tak. pakai normal yg dah disediakan je. judge urself But! i really didnt care for ur perception of me. cs that is me for you, and me myself in this world is not only for ur eyes, its for whole world's ppl. so i know who i am.
ini muka asli. yg blackish tepi tu guna frame type capture dlm hp. tp balancing effect, lightning ape semua semuatu tak diubah. ah see the pict again and you'll find out she's saying goodbye haha.
pen down.
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