someone please tell me

state there it wont be two. cs me with my life is not more than one.

it means alone.

3 days already. the days count is not for this blog updation, it is.....day im not against you. nah as simpler, im not talking with shana for 3 days. i mean exactly not talking. so that is why im feeling lose. im questioning myself what did i do wrong. wasnt it actually should be him? k on my ice skatting day, im calling him and tell that im probably come to kl so im asking him for meet. he dares to say oh yeke, dtg lah jumpa girlfriend i. memey ah what the shit. things now, he is truly know that im loving him, so how come those words been spoke by him? he didnt care abt my feelings yes...i do think so. if wasnt, what else eit. so that night im calling him and he click the red button. twice. so i didnt manage to talk to him that night. so next evening he finally pick up, but then i didnt want to dispute yesterday things. so im js normally speak. buat macam aku tak kisah bendatu, sbb credit tak byk so i aint argue him. 

ah the yesterday night, the day im calling him im feeling so sick of him when he off my calls. its not that i dont want to understand his condition, cs as expect he did that is bcs memey beside him. but then, ive been patient with him for long time. so that my emotional controlling me.........im removing him from facebook. so it is begin. begin that we didnt manage to talk to each other until now thats been 3 days oredi. he didnt pick up my call and i dont know why. izit bcs removing things? ah am i wrong abt it? i dont think so. can he atleast use his brain?! k let me explain. if im angry with him, so do you think that i will keep calling him? yes its true that im mad at him when the time im removing him, but after that onwrads ive be ok. im js the type. even when im sulking, i didnt need anyone to coax me cs i will be ok myself. so thats also like that now. im ok with that night things. currently im understand that memey is his girlfriend..(hard for me when it comes abt her)

so what is it now? im asking o's (my gang's name) opinion. lilo said that maybe he's being some kecikhati. raro's one is that shana maybe dah start syg girlfriend dia and so on. but then why am i the one who seek for him? ya Allah.............im riyelli (really) miss him. rindunya dkt shana, and also im worrying abt him. i dont know how is him, how is his leg and etc. im here, care for him but he didnt know that so apatah lg nak nampak ambikberat akuni. i once think that he maybe busy when he didnt pick up my call, but when im praying during performing my ibadah, im feeling even more worry. so it is not he is kinda busy, but he is purposely avoid me. oh my Lord, what is going on? until this will end......i even think that we might all stops here and this is the begin for us to lost contact. ah only think abt it already frightened me. 

js if he can read this......

you, im seriously worry abt you here. nah atleast i want to know how are you. am i done any wrong? so what it is? why arent you pick my cl? youre torturing me yknow. im so miss you. but then if youre really tring to away from me, atleast tell me. ya Allah, i dont have anyone else instead of You for me to pray to. 

nah forget it, he'll never read that cs he dont even know my blog. so then he wont know how am i feel right now. i didnt need any sympathy, all i need js to know how is him. im hoping he's healthy as usually and fully cure from his leg pain.

ei you guys know what? eventhough we were liddis now, love towards him never fade. and it wont. hahaha you might think im stupid? im crazy? or....syok sendiri? lol no, im not giving a damn. im not desperate type, but when ppl call me stupid and crazy for loving him when the situation even turn like this, im telling you strictly im so not care. if ive to be really stupid and crazy one for loving him, i am willingly to. cowhat? as a reason, im so sincerely fall for him at the first time before, so that i keep it until now and onwards. if i can stop this love feelings i might try once, but things is not abt can or cannot it is abt i want or i dont want. and clearly i dont want. even as ive to wait forever......well its js me. i think, Creature determine me to be alone ever since i was born. so here, day after tomorrow is my result day. he once told me that he will come, so that can it really comes true?    

cant speak for more.

all js miss words, im too miss you.

NOTHING HURTS MORE WHEN WAITING SINCE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IM WAITING. ITS MORE HURT LIKE THAT.

*ah sorry laptop. dah basah dahni, tearing for what? idk.